I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize