I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
