Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
