I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
