Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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