stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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