My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
