um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
