my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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