I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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