I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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