Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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