I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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