I cockslap morals
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
