She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
