I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
