we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize