Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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