she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
