there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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