in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
