I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You smell like stripper and shame
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
