That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
