can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
