he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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