Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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