got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
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I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
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Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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