Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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