so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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