Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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