my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
