u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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