new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
