at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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