the condom got lost in my hair
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
