why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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