the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize