i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
