The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize