Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
