Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
