Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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