i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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