I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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