Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
