Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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