how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
