So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
