i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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