Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
