I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
