So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
