Only a mothe r could love this liver
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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