I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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