There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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