This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
