Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
how drunk are you?
Several
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
