I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
